we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
