Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize