I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
