Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Holy shit dude........stairs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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