im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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