if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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