thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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