all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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