even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
