Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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