Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
