I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
