i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize