i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
