I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
