I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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