I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
