Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
