I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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