Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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