whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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