Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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