It's like God shit irony all over that family
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
