Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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