She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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