I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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