I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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