so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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