so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't deserve a penis
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
