overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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