Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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