Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
