He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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