Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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