He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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