Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my poor anus
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
