And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize