Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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