Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
