the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
