Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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