dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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