is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
