Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
only if we run a train.
done.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
