The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
