Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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