i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
