Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I enjoy the company of your penis
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
