I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
