i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
