After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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