Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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