Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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