Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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