As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
