and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
