she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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