Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
