I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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