i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
